I haven’t had a two year old in 16 years, so when I went out on a boat with one, it proved to be quite an adventure. Julie, my sister in law, was called into babysitting duty when a friend went into labor.
We were having a lovely time cruising around the lake – fishing, sipping our drinks, and noshing on cheese and crackers – when suddenly, the two year old blurted out that she needed to poop. Lacking any good options, we looked to the shore and saw a family friend’s house. We saw a young man outside and figured that must be Philip or Michael — let’s dock there.
Julie got off the boat and approached the young man – who was a complete stranger. She was clutching the anxious two year old’s hand and panicked and blurted out “Can we use your house to poop?” Poor Andre — a grown man who doesn’t have kids and who had no idea who Julie was – just nodded and showed her the way.
The little girl wanted a shred of privacy so she went into the bathroom alone – leaving Julie standing awkwardly in the hallway with Andre. The girl said loudly and matter of factly, “Ms. Julie, I can wipe my vagina, but can you wipe my butt?” Awkward glances and sheepish shrugs were exchanged between Julie and Andre.
Julie quickly made her way back to the boat and proclaimed her humiliation. We giggled and told her that we appreciated the humor. We learned two things that day – a new spot to catch bass – and a new place to poop.
As I See It 
Oh gosh. I’m embarrassed all over again!
Oh my gosh. So funny. Thanks for sharing
This is especially funny for me since I know all names mentioned! Well, I don’t know the two year old!